End of the Earth

"apex" wrote: I was just wondering, how will the world end? We have about 3 billion years to get the fuck out of here.


Ogr81 wrote: The event of the earths' demise can be found on media at Starbucks' Restaurant, one mile south of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, in the trendy Close to the End of the Universe District, although nobody is usually there except for wino's, hookers, and some worn out old mattresses that just complain about how they missed flomping about their home planet
while they drink coffee spiked with twelve year old Scotchguard.

A visiting Galagloob from the planet Penguin will urinate in the Nevada desert which will start the process. It should be noted that the average Galagloob is thirty feet tall, has a mere 2% water and only urinates approximately three times per life-time when they expel about 100 gallons per visit. As well, their urine has properties unknown to earth at this time which make it an extremely hardy liquid that freezes at -4550 degrees Celcius and boils at 5000 degrees. When it comes into contact with earth
water, the water undergoes a reaction which turns it completely to
Galagloober urine. Although the quantity urinated is not enough to cause any particular problem unless a location is not planned for in advance, this particular instance started a series of unlikely events which brings about the earths demise.

The Galagloober, drunk on several kegs of beer, will suddenly have to go relieve itself quickly. Choosing the first suitable spot, he does what comes natural to everyone in the universe except the eouaians, where it is done on computer. Unfortunately, the spot it chooses has a slight crack that widens below the surface. The urine pours through the crack and into the cavern below, right into a basin. This basin cannot hold all the weight of the liquid, and collapses through the shallow rock into another vast cavern below. The basin with all the urine crashes through a river that flows through the cavern, just enough to open up a fissure that
eventually leads to the earths core. The urine, now mixed with river water, will pour into the earth core and extinguished it.

Just as the Galagloober was jiggling his tentacle and zipping up, the last of the eaths core was flickering out. All the Galagloober urine steam, which is as thick as wax, will build too much preassure and finally blows through every opening to the earths surface. The gas will produce a rancid odour that suffocates all life on earth within a mere three years. A fleet of starship cleaners will have to come and spray 55 gillion gallons of pine
scented lysol to prevent the smell from reaching other planets.

It also gives rise to the sayings, "You smell like an earth fart!" and, " Friends don't let Galagoobers drink and pee.'

There it is; most embarrassing, but true. The earth will end in a
'phsssssst' and a fart.